Cuddle Buddy
by SpellboundWinter
Summary: There are three places a guy can be on a girl's spectrum. A lover, a friend and a cuddle buddy. Clyde happens to fit the role of cuddle buddy much to Karen's disappointment. ClydexKaren. One-shot.


**One of my very favorite crack pairings. ClydexKaren.**

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><p>There are three places a guy can be on a girl's spectrum. A lover, a friend and a cuddle buddy.<p>

...Or nothing at all but let's not count that, wouldn't want the spectrum to be too complicated.

Cuddle buddies are the guys you like to… well, get close to. You're comfortable with them and they are comfortable around you. Holding, hugging and even the occasional kiss.

Cuddle buddies are like best friends but on a different wavelength.

Clyde Donovan was strictly my cuddle buddy.

And this guy had a comfortable bed and a big heart. He had a quirky sense of humor and I loved his arms. They weren't stringy like Kenny's. They were bigger and stronger, he could fit four of me in just one arm.

But I'm glad there's just one of me. Because, I wouldn't have to share him. For the first time, I felt loved and wanted. I felt protected.

My eyes slid open, the warm color of the sunset waking me. A certain obnoxious yellow-orange color. I stretched and let out a little yawn before taking in my surroundings. I saw a certain someone face first into a few pillows, snoring soundly. I couldn't help but grin.

Yup, there's my buddy.

I massaged his back slightly. Clyde always slept face down. I never understood that. It reminded me of those celebrities found dead after an overdose. God, I hope Clyde doesn't do something stupid like that. I jerked him around lightly as he grunted, his head lifting up.

"Hey Kare-bear," Clyde's eyebrow hitched. "Mind givin' me a little rub?" with that he flopped back into his pillows.

I blinked, that's a nice how-do-you-do.

But, I did as he wished. I shifted onto to my knees, straddling his back. I knew nothing about massages so I did what came natural... and what I saw from TV. Oh TV, what you didn't teach me?

Something rumbled underneath me as Clyde twisted over onto his back, snatching me up and nearly giving me a heart attack.

"How am I supposed to give you a massage when you're like this?" I snapped, feeling his hand rest comfortably on my hips.

"Who said I want a massage?" he made that weird face... His eyebrows going up and that big toothy grin. It was that typical Clyde face, a stupid face that was impossible for anyone else to do.

He really is a man-child. At twenty-something he's a bigger dork than Kevin and Kenny put together.

It fixes me.

I'm like a TV that isn't tuned into anything but static. No amount of aluminum foil or beating me senselessly would fix how damaged I actually am.

But somehow Clyde does it... And only he can.

"You're such a pervert." I flushed, slapping his shoulder.

And what did he do? He laughed at my expense. He's always making jokes like that to see how red I can get. But more importantly he's laughing and I laugh too. Maybe because I can't when I'm at home. I'm not sure anymore but I don't want to leave him.

He folded his arms behind his head, snorting back snot. "Say's the girl who's still sitting on me."

My cheeks warmed again as I shifted off him. I took a fleeting glance at the digital clock on the night stand. I inwardly groaned. "It's seven-thirty. I should text Kenny that I'm walking home from Ruby's."

"Liar, liar!" he sung, his palms reaching out and squeezing at my sides. I let out a delighted giggle, but really I was grimacing. I bet he could feel every rib I had. It made me feel disgusting.

I wiggled out his grasp, with a huff and pout, I spoke, "I can't help it. You _always_ bring me home after a date. I'm just an innocent girl."

"A woman who goes into a man's room after a date is never is an innocent girl." he made a 'tsk' noise with his mouth and a finger waggled back and forth in front of my face as if reprimanding me.

The dates were enjoyable... and they were nice too. He always took me out to dinner or a movie. He always paid and never asked for anything in return. It was another perk of being Clyde's cuddle buddy.

Not to sound like a gold digger or anything, I swear I'm not looking to get something out of him.

I reached for a cell phone, texting blindly before placing it back on the bedside table. I reached out for him blindly until arms entangled me close, wrapping me in a strong grip. I laid there on my side, feeling cool breath on my neck.

"When are you going to date me Donovan? Being cuddle buddies and all is nice... but I want more."

It came out far too quickly. But it was true... I want Clyde to be there all the time, not just when I want someone close. I want him to be all mine. I want something to call my own for once.

"Soon as Kenny isn't so protective over you." he hummed, stroking a few fingers through my hair, they instantly became tangled. I cringed awkwardly as Clyde removed his digits from my knotty hair.

"You sure it isn't Bebe?" I straightened out my shirt, fixing my frizzy hair. "It's not like I blame you. Bebe is in every way better than me. Big boobs, a great personality, long blonde hair…"

I hated her. Every inch of Bebe Stevens made me angry. I know I shouldn't be that way. I don't even know her... but, I liked Clyde. I liked him a whole lot.

"Popular, don't forget popular."

He was always wrapped around her finger and at her whim, he came crawling back to her. Then Clyde would leave me all alone. My cuddle buddy almost seemingly millions of miles away.

I don't want to be alone anymore.

"So? What? You don't want to date me?" It came out a little angry and frustrated.

"No Karen, I don't want to date you." He said simply rubbing his head awkwardly as his arms slowly moved further and further away from me. "I just… I don't know."

Unfortunately, his ego was bigger than his head.

Tears pricked at my eyes but I refused to cry."Oh you, I won't give up. You keep rejecting me like this and I might cry," I squeaked, tugging at his cheeks. "Besides, what would be different if we dated?"

"I dunno, the world as we know it could explode." He gestured greatly with his hands, sitting up. "It's just not meant to be."

That was like a few dozen arrows flinging out and hitting me right in the heart. I've never felt so crushed. Not meant to be? Being cuddle buddies, I can't be close to someone who I feel like this for. I could say I actually love Clyde. I adore everything about him and worship the ground he walks on... but I guess it would be all for nothing. It doesn't matter. If he can't communicate it back, what's the point?

Actually, it's typical. Who would want Karen McCormick associated with them? I wouldn't.

"Am I ugly? Or… am I not as pretty as Bebe? I really like you and I… I try so hard," I bit at my bottom lip, curling up under the blanket, away from him. "I really like you. I don't want to be cuddle buddies anymore."

I feel so used and misused. I feel like a fucking idiot. Of course he'd be looking in the other direction when there was someone better. I was just around for convenience. To mend his broken heart again and again so he could leave me.

I feel betrayed and hurt.

"Kare… Kare, come on. When Kenny isn't foaming at the mouth," He tugs me up in his arms from behind, smooching my cheek. "Come back, 'kay? You're hot, you're sexy and you're downright adorable. Bebe doesn't even compare to you in the least."

"Really?"

The bed shifted as he reached for his phone on the nightstand. "Of course." He plucked it up and his mouth twitched. "Erm, Karen. You texted Kenny."

"Yeah, I know."

"…On my phone."

We laid there for a moment, glancing blankly at the device. My voice raised an octave as I went clamoring after Clyde. "Oh shit! What did he say?!"

As if on command, the phone made a cheery noise and Clyde's thumb moved over the smooth screen. He read off:

"I'm going to kill you Clyde."


End file.
